Monday, August 11, 2008
Arkansas the land of...no Target
I miss my back aisles with clearance items that aren't really on sale they just put a red sticker on it to make you think it is... and the wonderful cereals in those cool boxes with the snappy lids...and their cheap decorating stuff that no one really needs but that once you see it there you just have to have...
Well i've had a week to come to terms with it and over that week I've realized, yet again, how perfectly God provides.
If you haven't heard my apartment story let me tell you... There is some sort of "Natural Gas Boom" in Central Arkansas meaning tons and tons of people are moving here to drill for the natural gas...
Do you drill for gas? or is it vapor... how can you drill for vapor? I have no idea...I am putting my dad to shame right now I can just tell.
Anyway when we came up to look for an apartment but no one had any openings that they knew of in August. We had a long list of apartments in the area that we went to look at, many of which my father said he wouldn't even let the dog live in, let alone me...by myself in an area where I knew no one... A few of them we couldn't even find so we ended up signing a form for one lady who said she might have an opening but really couldn't give us any definate answers ...so we left no apartment lease in hand and headed back to Texas.
Well the summer went on and I called that lady we had talked to about the possible apartment multiple times with still no definate answer. One day I got a call from a lady in Searcy who said there was an apartment that was open starting in July, I jumped on it. I had no idea where this was or what it looked like but if she was claiming there was an opening in July and I could for sure sign a lease for it I was all over it. To shorten things because I can tell i'm getting very long winded, the lady was so helpful letting me rent it but not move in until August, making the carpet cleaners come back to clean it 2x before I moved it and even left the apartment painted because it matched my furniture!
Well God provided, not only that but the apartment is gorgeous, is less than 3 blocks to the PA building, about 1 mile to the grocery store, and about 2 miles from a church, has an open field for the dog to run in, and is right down the street from the fire station- so far i've only set the fire alarm off once.
He provided in such abundance!
There were three "fears"- although fear isn't the best word...more like uneasiness, but that's not grammatically correct I'm pretty sure..."three uneasinesses" I had about moving here, away from College Station...
1. where am I going to live
2. Is there going to be a chuch there that challenges me like Living hope did? or that has people that were as welcoming and as much a community as Living hope was?
3. How the heck am I going to make it through PA school and retain all the knowledge I need to practice medicine?! I mean after I'm out people are going to expect me to know things!?
Well he answered number one with my apartment, and number two has been answed through Fellowship Bible Church, so what in me makes me think he would put me in this school knowing that without a doubt this was his plan for me, and not help me through these next 2 1/2 years! ?
Answer- he wouldn't!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut. 31:6
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jer. 29:11
What part of those verses-and the many others with the same message I love how God realizes how dense we are and put the important stuff in over and over again- says God won't take care of me... none!
So even though there is no Target in this town I can handle it because God has provided for me everything I need, and he will continue to provide the strength, the brain power, and whatever else I need to succeed as I follow Him and His plan!
Heck who better to study the human body and how it functions than the creator of it!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
I Am So Blessed!
I was was listening to my music and the Martina McBride song came on- "I am so Blessed" and that got me thinking today how blessed I really am. Yes I am blessed in the sense that I have always had food on my table and clothes to wear, but today I realized how God has deliberately and obviously placed some pretty awesome people in my life. While this blog is mainly for me -I think there are a few people who stuck around through my year long hiatus haha-But If you do read this know that you have touched my life and i am so very grateful for that! My awesome and encouraging friends and roommates who lift me up when I'm down, who laugh with me when i do dumb and crazy things, who will make ice cream runs to HEB at 3 am, who will go on completely random road trips to Conroe just 'cuz, who will pray with me when I'm struggling, who will lay on the trampoline talking about the most random things, who will do crazy exercise videos just to laugh at/with each other and whom I love so dearly. The wonderful Worleys and Bacaks who have truly been an example of what Mission minded really means- These people exemplify Christs love and the Commandment to spread the gospel in all of their actions through their whole day and it is because of Rusty's example that I know that I can be a PA and still share the gospel-no matter the setting. And my family. Every night I drop off my Awanas kids I'm reminded how blessed I have been to have parents who support me no matter what I've decided to do (Even through rach and I have chosen respectable fields I am certain they would be just as proud of me and supported me the same if I had gone to East Pasadena Community College and decided to become a trash collector- as long as it was where God called me and it had health insurance ;), who love me no matter how many times I get snappy or my "tone" is "unacceptable", and who will always be my momma and daddy no matter how old I get.
By the way the picture is me, Angela, and Emily on Buddy from the College Night of Worship out at the Creenshaw Ranch- some more people who have touched my life!-
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
My ways are higher than your ways...
So tonight was the first time I've been to breakaway in a long time. I was very faithful freshman and sophomore year but I've been slack recently. All the times I've been I don't think I have ever gotten as much from it as I did tonight. Tonight was an "All girls" night which usually bore me I have to say.Usually they talk about how we need to be modest and not be a stumbling block for our brothers in Christ, which don't get me wrong is a wonderful, truthful, and necessary message- and don't get me wrong when I say this- but I've got that. (I still work on it but its been pretty ingrained into my thick skull.) BUT tonight the speaker spoke about plans...(or at least that is what I gathered from her talk) As Christians we know that God is who we put our hope in but we (or at least I do) tend to put conditions on how much of our hope we are putting in God. She talked about how she had a "5 year plan" how she was going to graduate- work for a little while- get married before she was 27- get engaged about a year and a half later- have kids before she was 30...etc etc etc... It sounded like she was reading my thoughts-I saw so much of myself and my "plans" in her past. However, she hit a few stumbling blocks along the way and through them realized that no matter how devoted she was to God- because she was so set on her 5 year plan when it fell through she was devastated- It was through that she realized that she was telling God how much she loved Him and was dedicated to Him...IF her plans worked...Her hope was not in Him she realized at that point- and for me I realized that I am putting a limit on how much of my hope I put in God. I set deadlines for Him. I am going to graduate in May, go to PA school for 2-3 years, graduate, work for a few years, get married, etc... The verses she used to illustrate her point was Psalms 33. There were a few verses of that particularly that I loved:
"But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken." Psalm 33: 11
Even though we are given these desires by God it is His plan and His timing and His way that will be the results- When God closes a door it means he has a plan. I might think it is better or worse than what I expected but part of Gods amazing wonder is his mysteriousness (i'm reading about that in Intimate Faith- good book by the way if you are looking for something to read) and really in the end looking back on things nothing the Lord ever does has hurt me or caused me harm- in fact it has always been better than I could ever really come up with on my own!
" For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
His ways and his plans are so much higher/superior/better/ any-other-synonym-you-can-think-of than anything I can come up with. And that just makes me happy!
Seriously- when I am having my own little pity party I need to go read Job again. This guy was put through EVERYTHING- "My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart." Job 17:11 To have the desires of your heart shattered- wow that's all I gotta say about that. But God blessed him more than before after he went through all that...
So to sum up this long and "rambley" blog- I have thrown out the "5 year" plan I had in my head and am working on putting all my Hope in God through setting my mind on the truths of His word, and surrendering my hopes with an attitude of trust. I KNOW I will struggle with this but at least now I've got a jumping off point :)
"He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do." Psalm 33:15
Every desire I have has been given to me! The one who gave them to me will not mock me by refusing to give it to me! BUT just like God gave Abraham, Issac, his promise, and asked him to sacrifice this promise/desire it is only when we release our desires and trust in the only one who can be trusted that we will get the true satisfaction that we are looking for- the satisfaction that we think can be filled with whatever that desire happens to be!
"But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken." Psalm 33: 11
Even though we are given these desires by God it is His plan and His timing and His way that will be the results- When God closes a door it means he has a plan. I might think it is better or worse than what I expected but part of Gods amazing wonder is his mysteriousness (i'm reading about that in Intimate Faith- good book by the way if you are looking for something to read) and really in the end looking back on things nothing the Lord ever does has hurt me or caused me harm- in fact it has always been better than I could ever really come up with on my own!
" For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
His ways and his plans are so much higher/superior/better/ any-other-synonym-you-can-think-of than anything I can come up with. And that just makes me happy!
Seriously- when I am having my own little pity party I need to go read Job again. This guy was put through EVERYTHING- "My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart." Job 17:11 To have the desires of your heart shattered- wow that's all I gotta say about that. But God blessed him more than before after he went through all that...
So to sum up this long and "rambley" blog- I have thrown out the "5 year" plan I had in my head and am working on putting all my Hope in God through setting my mind on the truths of His word, and surrendering my hopes with an attitude of trust. I KNOW I will struggle with this but at least now I've got a jumping off point :)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
So Caffeine and scripture might be a good fix after all!
Let me explain the title a little bit- Caffeine kept me up tonight so I could spend the time I probably wouldn't have given myself during the day-to figure out what about this problem was bothering me so much-through prayer and reading scripture. I'm just going to attach what I wrote to gabby b/c i feel like it summed everything up pretty nicely...
Gabby,
I want to start out by saying thank you. I tend to be a reserved person and it takes me time to really get comfortable around people but you have been so solid for me this past year. I'm writting to you now because I want to ask a favor of you. Since I've come to A&M there have been about three major things I have dealt with and found God's will for me in. First it was the decision of PA school which I can say now after years of prayer that without a shadow of a doubt that is where God wants me. The second is my future marriage. It took me until my best friend started dating a guy- leaving me with time to either pity myself of delve deeper into prayer over my future- to realize that God knows my heart for marriage and children and he will provide me who I need when I need it. The third is having a heart for missions and God has/and is constantly working on me with that- giving me, the quite one, the boldness I need to really talk to the ones I love- and even those I don't really know- about how amazing, loving, and forgiving my savior is. Recently though, I guess ever since the trip, I have had such a hard time getting a person out of my head- I started really praying about it this whole last week and it wasn't until tonight that I realized why. Partly because I had a whole bunch of caffine tonight but partly because of this bombardment that I feel like satan is attacking me with- I couldn't sleep (As you can probably tell by the email time its about 5am)so I started writting down exactly what I was dwelling on to try to get my thoughts organized, while I was doing this I kept looking up at the wall near my bed that I have some of my favorite scripture on. All of them that I was reading dealt with living a life for Christ and not for the world or for man. (2 Cor 5:15, 2 Tim 2:4 etc) and that really began to burden me about my future (husband/boyfriend/etc)- not the who, what, or where that I had dealt with in the past but the why and how. For the last two weeks I have been doing Jen's study on becoming citizens of heaven- living for God not for the world, and reading "Don't Waste your life" again about living for God and not for man. Well tonight it all kind of came together and I realized what was really bothering me was I didn't feel like I was prepared for a future relationship if God was to give one to me now. Last summer I read the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers and I saw yet again God's amazing agape love but what struck me the most was that I saw myself in the character at the end. I saw myself easily getting lost in a guy- putting all my hope, trust, and devotion in a man and not in God anymore. Well it is almost a year since I have realized it and I still haven't done anything about it. I was looking at Jen's blog the other day and followed the link to the hendricks blog and followed yet another link to Heather's "Her Hands" blog which seems to have all the material on it. I guess the point of this email, other than letting you know where I am right now as far as struggles (in a very long and drawn out way ;) )is to ask you if you would do the Her Hands with me, help me prepare myself- do my part- for whoever god has in store for my future. If we could get together one day a week at any time really- lunch/ afternoon/ evening/whenever to go over the weeks "lesson" and to learn from you what you have learned from experience, God, the Bible, etc. that has prepared you for marriage and for becoming the wife you are today- who is able to put God above your husband. I would really appreciate it. I'm sorry this is so long- its probably pretty jumbled too :)
In Christ
sarah
Gabby,
I want to start out by saying thank you. I tend to be a reserved person and it takes me time to really get comfortable around people but you have been so solid for me this past year. I'm writting to you now because I want to ask a favor of you. Since I've come to A&M there have been about three major things I have dealt with and found God's will for me in. First it was the decision of PA school which I can say now after years of prayer that without a shadow of a doubt that is where God wants me. The second is my future marriage. It took me until my best friend started dating a guy- leaving me with time to either pity myself of delve deeper into prayer over my future- to realize that God knows my heart for marriage and children and he will provide me who I need when I need it. The third is having a heart for missions and God has/and is constantly working on me with that- giving me, the quite one, the boldness I need to really talk to the ones I love- and even those I don't really know- about how amazing, loving, and forgiving my savior is. Recently though, I guess ever since the trip, I have had such a hard time getting a person out of my head- I started really praying about it this whole last week and it wasn't until tonight that I realized why. Partly because I had a whole bunch of caffine tonight but partly because of this bombardment that I feel like satan is attacking me with- I couldn't sleep (As you can probably tell by the email time its about 5am)so I started writting down exactly what I was dwelling on to try to get my thoughts organized, while I was doing this I kept looking up at the wall near my bed that I have some of my favorite scripture on. All of them that I was reading dealt with living a life for Christ and not for the world or for man. (2 Cor 5:15, 2 Tim 2:4 etc) and that really began to burden me about my future (husband/boyfriend/etc)- not the who, what, or where that I had dealt with in the past but the why and how. For the last two weeks I have been doing Jen's study on becoming citizens of heaven- living for God not for the world, and reading "Don't Waste your life" again about living for God and not for man. Well tonight it all kind of came together and I realized what was really bothering me was I didn't feel like I was prepared for a future relationship if God was to give one to me now. Last summer I read the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers and I saw yet again God's amazing agape love but what struck me the most was that I saw myself in the character at the end. I saw myself easily getting lost in a guy- putting all my hope, trust, and devotion in a man and not in God anymore. Well it is almost a year since I have realized it and I still haven't done anything about it. I was looking at Jen's blog the other day and followed the link to the hendricks blog and followed yet another link to Heather's "Her Hands" blog which seems to have all the material on it. I guess the point of this email, other than letting you know where I am right now as far as struggles (in a very long and drawn out way ;) )is to ask you if you would do the Her Hands with me, help me prepare myself- do my part- for whoever god has in store for my future. If we could get together one day a week at any time really- lunch/ afternoon/ evening/whenever to go over the weeks "lesson" and to learn from you what you have learned from experience, God, the Bible, etc. that has prepared you for marriage and for becoming the wife you are today- who is able to put God above your husband. I would really appreciate it. I'm sorry this is so long- its probably pretty jumbled too :)
In Christ
sarah
Sunday, March 23, 2008
"I want more..."
So I was watching the Little Mermaid today-I have a big test next week and I do everything including cleaning my house, washing the dog, running, cleaning out my fridge, watching movies etc. to put off studying. But my aversion to studying is a completely different topic! Anyway, while I was watching the Little Mermaid-one of my favorite movies when I was little- the lyrics to the song "Part of Your World" really hit me. Recently I have really been burdened for a friend of mine who I study with and so I guess that i've been thinking about why and how my salvation has changed me. The song starts out, "Look at this stuff Isn't it neat?Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl The girl who has everything? Look at this trove Treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold?Looking around here you think Sure, she's got everything I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty I've got whozits and whatzits galore You want thingamabobs?I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal I want more..." Things of this world will never satisfy us. It says in
1 John 2:15
"Do not love things of this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything in it."
Things don't satisfies- Crist Satisfies more than imaginable! I don't know how many times I have seen this movie but this is the first time I have ever seen it as an example of Christ's sacrifice. At the end of the movie Tritan gives himself up for his daughter's freedom- just like Christ gave himself so we can be freed from sin. I thought that was awsome-don't get me wrong there are still some things that bother me about this movie- like how they say that falling in love is only shown with a kiss?! But again that is for another time...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
My God is Mighty to Save!!
Edinburgh was amazing this year. While we might not have had as many patients this year as we had last year we were able to really talk to the people. Whether it was encouraging the fellow christians that came to see us or to witness to the unbelievers that game by. I think total we saw about 150 people and gave away about 40,000 dollars of meds but I felt like I learned so much from it- about myself, about others, about medicine and about my faith. I started out this trip knowing that my goal was to make much of Christ in everything that I said and did. But it is always easier to say something than to actually do it. The first day that we were there I was getting frustrated because it was 11 oclock and no one had shown up. I started thinking- the church here isn't doing what it said it would- all my work getting the meds ready is going to waste-this sucks! Then someone suggested that we pray about the patients God was going to send us. That jolted me outof my selfishness and made me realize that if I was going to make this trip about Gods glory I needed to trust that he would give us what we needed! It is such a simple concept but it is something that I realized on this trip that I struggle with everyday. I have seen time after time how God provides exactly what I need when I need it- even in more abundance than I could imagine! Yet I still let myself get frustrated when something isn't going how I want it to. There were so many other things that I learned on this trip but i've got a biochem exam that is staring me down. I just wanted to share a little bit about the trip before life gets hectic again :)
Friday, March 7, 2008
Edinburgh: round dos
We leave Sunday for Edinburgh again. This time I feel like I will be able to help more. Don't get me wrong last year was an amazing learning experience and I have been so blessed by so many things that started last year but I felt a little useless. I feel that one of my spiritual gifts is my desire to give of myself and my abilities to help other people and so i don't like just sitting around when others are working. But this year is different I am there to help and am able to and that excites me. God did some amazing stuff last year through all the people on the trip and I know he will continue to do amazing things. I just need to pray about my attitude. There are so many people that come in to see us that I need to watch my self and make sure that I do not get preoccupied with "getting all the patients through" that I forget the whole reason we are there. To help them physically and spiritually. This is a blatantly obvious time for me to share with the people we see how amazing and loving my Savior is and I don't want my attitude rush me out of time to share with them.
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