Here's lookin at you kid...

So I 'm excited about Christmas- es I realize that the semester hasn't even started and christmas comes after semester finals but my parents have started to look at trips for Christmas break and I am really excited. I suggested Morocco and that is where it looks like we are going :D They have trips where you can see the main cities including Casablanca and camel treks through the Sahara and going through the markets of Marekesh. But right now I'm here sitting in College Station on my couch and trying to write a paper on CVID...hence the day dream about Christmas break...back to reality.

Its been a while

Wow its been a while since I've written on this thing. Nothing much is going on here this summer- school, Health for All, Church and hanging out with friends the rare occasion I get to. All the applications for PA school are in now and now its a waiting game. I know this is where God wants me we'll just see when he wants me there. Well thats all really- just thought it had been a while since I'd written.

well it's all over now...

So these last few days have been crazy, whether from exams because I had 3 this week or trying to get into Blinn and worrying about whether or not I was going to get into this Anatomy and Physiology class for the summer. This last week at churh Butch talked about Abrahm's obedience and one things that he said stuck with me this whole week.
"We can not pick and choose our areas of obedience."
That means that his instruction of "Do not worry" aren't an area of obedience that I can skip. I just have the hardest time sometimes, especially this last week. I tried so hard, when I realized that I was so tense because I was worried, to not worry and to trust that God would take care of me. Funny thing is, by the end of the whole shenanagans I had stopped worrying and the next day I got an email saying I was in the class, and not just any class the section I preferred! God is so amazing and I always forget it until something like this occurs and I am again amazed...why God is so amazing. I am reading a book that talks about being a Christian hedonist and one of my favorite quotes is:
" I know of no other way to triumph over sin long-term than to gain a distaste for it because of a spiritual satisfaction in God."
This means that I should let my complete satisfaction in God lead to complete trust and complete release for worrying. I want to gain that distance from worrying about what is going to happen in my future.

Trust

I feel so accomplished...not like "a renaissance man" is accomplished but I got a lot done today. I've finished all my papers for this week already (I had three due), decided what I am going to take next semester and the following semester, finished all I can do to apply at Blinn- which is a different story that i will tell in a little bit b/c it was soooo God (and my daddy)- anyway I feel like everything is coming together. Friday was a different story however...My dad called and told me that I had to take at least one of my Anatomy and Physiology classes this summer so I could have both of them done by December. So all friday, while i was running around with Britt to get stuff for her banquet on Saturday, I was calling all over the place to apply at Blinn and get transcripts sent in- oh did i mention that I called the Biology dept and they said they weren't offering A&P this summer so I have to go to Blinn to take it- After I got all the paperwork in I called the Biology office to see if they would accept the credits (which they won't but its okay b/c PA schools will) and they said that "Oh we are offering that course now". Frustrating as it was it just proved to me how amazing God's timing is. By taking it at Blinn it will be easier, all in the summer, and I will be able to take some really interesting classes like medical microbiology and immunology with the lab. yeah! Friday morning I was so frustrated and I was not letting myself just trust that God will not let me down. Going into medicine is where I feel like God is placing me without-a-doubt so why would He not help me get there...well he wouldn't is the simple answer I just have the hardest time sometimes remembering that!

"My father knows what I need even before I ask Him." Matt 6:8

" Do not worry, saying 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom and his rightiousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matt 6:31-33

God gave me an amazing family though who will do all the research and work harder than anything to help me reach my goals. Thank you.

Opportunities

I just got back from shadowing Dr. Bacak and I love it. I got to see some really neat cases and I even got to do an eye exam on a cute little 5 year old. Getting to shadow Dr. Bacak this semester has really made me focus more just because I can see the end of the tunnel...or at least what it could look like. I'm going to start shadowing a PA on tuesday so I can see the differences between Dr. and PA, and i'm excited about that. God has truly given me some amazing opportunities this year and I love it! Oh I thought this picture was really cute- its Dr Bacak and Johnathan from the trip this spring break.

So I have a little catching up to do...

LAST WEEK
Last week was a little hectic with exams, papers, and the sort...but I got some exams back that made my week all better...In my pop. genetics class I got my exam back and got an A on it, same with nutrition but I didn't expect any less in that class... Those A's gave me the confidence that my studying is paying off. Micro has been a little of a downer this semester because my prof is crazy...and by crazy i mean he could be sent to the behavioral institute in Navasota one day and i wouldn't blink an eye...he came to our last exam review drunk- talking about how Sandra Oh (the lady on Grey's Anatomy) used to be one of his TA's at USC then he randomly got some homeade Kim-Chi ( i think that's how you spell it) out and made this girl try it (she was Korean and was arguing with him about how Sandra Oh was Korean and not Chinese)...anyway because of his crazy-ness i haven't done that well in his class (or at least not in comparison to the amount of time i put into it.) But i feel better about it. The application to PA school is coming out soon so its something else to motivate me and remind me that i am doing what i'm supposed to be doing.
EASTER WEEKEND
Well last week is over and I had a wonderful easter weekend. I got to scrapbook and go shopping with mom and Rach and just relax for the first time in a while. It was a good weekend. Then we came up to College Station for easter service and I really like howthe church did service. It wasn't the typical easter service. It was based on the question,... why are you here? Easter is the number one service that people who don't go to church regularly actually attend, which means it is a wonderful time to witness to them and I think that Butch did a great job. But the question of why are you here wasn't just for those people it was for the people that go regularly too, like me. It can just become habit...or even selfish desires that make us go to church every week. I know I'm guilty of going just because I feel so much better afterwards, but if that is my only reason then I'm going for the wrong reason. It shouldn't be about what I can get from God it should be what I can give to him...and not just on Sundays!
THIS WEEK...well monday at least
This week is going to be a good week. I can get caught up on some reading, get started on the PA school application, and hopefully get close to finished on my project for Dr. Smotherman. Yesterday i got to MIC...yes MIC ladies and gentlemen...i am a full fledged medic-in-charge now yeah! anyway i got to MIC the shak-a-thon event which was cool. I am a freaking white cloud though...nothing ever extreme happens when i'm at an event...which i guess is good but I got no patients what-so-ever which can make it a pretty boring night. Well i think i've caught myself up hopefully i'll be more on top of things and write more often so i don't have to write these novels :)

Oh the burn...continued

So yesterday I was out at the Army FTX all day long...4am-8pm...It was a really good day though even hough I got sunburned. I got to act as a medic in charge which was cool, i really enjoy that kind of stuff. The people that came weren't all from A&M and when they asked us what we got paid and we said we volunteered they were very surprised. Its one thing i can do to help others that not everyone else can and I love doing it.

Oh the burn...

ouch...thats all i have to say tonight...more to come tomm. though, when i'm not exhausted and in pain...

Microbiology

By the time I finish studying for this micro test I think I am going to have to live in a bubble. It is disgusting thinking about all the microorganisms that live everywhere. Seriously though i will be able to tell you what bacteria you have on you after touching something. It's pretty cool to think that God created all these organisms on top of everything else we can see. These guys are pretty complex too, especially some of their systems of survival- no man or coincidence could have come up with that.

Tyan

I thought i'd take a moment and let you all know how wonderful my dog is. Coming home from lab tonight reminded me of what a joy she is. Today had been a long day after a long week with no end in site. After two exams and two papers this week and two more exams to look forward to next week I was exhausted mentally and physically but coming home to this bubbly ball of fluff just seemed to make my day better. She was so happy to see me (as she is to see anyone who might rub her belly) that she fell off the couch and crashed into the coffee table making me laugh and made me think that, "hey this is how God would greet us." so overwhelmingly glad to see us and hear about our day that he trips over himself trying to get to us to give us a hug (or a lick in Tyan's case) and welcome us home. Then I thought, He loves me that much yet i tend to put Him on the backburner when i get stressed or really busy, "when i'm finished with this paper then i'll really do my quiet time" or "just a few more days then this exam will be out of the way". I know Tyan wouldn't let me ignore her- she would be there holding the ball in her mouth with that expectant..."hey lets play" look, but God just waits patiently for me to come to Him. I am the prodigal daughter- i don't tend to stray as far but any wandering off is still wandering off- but he is always waiting for me ready to trip overhimself to welcome me back into a loving embrace that no one can match- not even Tyan.

Obedience

So here's the first post...great timing too considering i still haven't written the paper that is due tommorrow but i figured i would write about the discussion we had in Hope Group tonight while it was still fresh...
The topic from Butch's sermon on Sunday was obedience. He talked about Noah and how obedient Noah had been to build an ark for a flood during a time when they hadn't even seen rain. That amazed me right there. It was a blind step of faith, something i have struggled with the last few years in terms of where i'm supposed to go and what i am supposed to do. During Hope Group it was mentioned that Ggd doesn't always- infact most of the time he doesn't- just lay out a blueprint of everything that is in His plan for us. For me- growing up in a house that was so organized and everything was planned out to the tee-it is a constant struggle. Bruce mentioned it takes "driving the first nail into the board" then God will tell us what to do next. Then we got on the subject of well how do you know the nail you are driving is the one God has in store for you. This is where it really hit home. I've been going back and forth for the last 2 years- PA school or Med school... I really really feel like medicine is where God has called me but where in medicine I had no idea. This last summer I really felt called that my path towards med school was not where i was supposed to be. My decision to go to PA school was such a relief I really felt like that was where God was leading me to. Tonight though made me question it though. Gabby asked what happens if you feel like you are doing something that is in God's plan for you, but your off and it is not what God has in mind for you, but you do it because you truly feel it is Gods plan? That really got me to thinking. How exactly do you know if you are doing what God had planned for you? It will line up with the Bible which is why as Christians we should constantly be studying His word. So I guess thats all I can do now...pray, study, and listen...
We also discussed desires of your heart- but i'll save that for another time. I really liked what Brian said about it though:
"When you draw close to God His desires become your desires and those are the 'desires of your heart' that God wants to give to you."