Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
So Caffeine and scripture might be a good fix after all!
Let me explain the title a little bit- Caffeine kept me up tonight so I could spend the time I probably wouldn't have given myself during the day-to figure out what about this problem was bothering me so much-through prayer and reading scripture. I'm just going to attach what I wrote to gabby b/c i feel like it summed everything up pretty nicely...
Gabby,
I want to start out by saying thank you. I tend to be a reserved person and it takes me time to really get comfortable around people but you have been so solid for me this past year. I'm writting to you now because I want to ask a favor of you. Since I've come to A&M there have been about three major things I have dealt with and found God's will for me in. First it was the decision of PA school which I can say now after years of prayer that without a shadow of a doubt that is where God wants me. The second is my future marriage. It took me until my best friend started dating a guy- leaving me with time to either pity myself of delve deeper into prayer over my future- to realize that God knows my heart for marriage and children and he will provide me who I need when I need it. The third is having a heart for missions and God has/and is constantly working on me with that- giving me, the quite one, the boldness I need to really talk to the ones I love- and even those I don't really know- about how amazing, loving, and forgiving my savior is. Recently though, I guess ever since the trip, I have had such a hard time getting a person out of my head- I started really praying about it this whole last week and it wasn't until tonight that I realized why. Partly because I had a whole bunch of caffine tonight but partly because of this bombardment that I feel like satan is attacking me with- I couldn't sleep (As you can probably tell by the email time its about 5am)so I started writting down exactly what I was dwelling on to try to get my thoughts organized, while I was doing this I kept looking up at the wall near my bed that I have some of my favorite scripture on. All of them that I was reading dealt with living a life for Christ and not for the world or for man. (2 Cor 5:15, 2 Tim 2:4 etc) and that really began to burden me about my future (husband/boyfriend/etc)- not the who, what, or where that I had dealt with in the past but the why and how. For the last two weeks I have been doing Jen's study on becoming citizens of heaven- living for God not for the world, and reading "Don't Waste your life" again about living for God and not for man. Well tonight it all kind of came together and I realized what was really bothering me was I didn't feel like I was prepared for a future relationship if God was to give one to me now. Last summer I read the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers and I saw yet again God's amazing agape love but what struck me the most was that I saw myself in the character at the end. I saw myself easily getting lost in a guy- putting all my hope, trust, and devotion in a man and not in God anymore. Well it is almost a year since I have realized it and I still haven't done anything about it. I was looking at Jen's blog the other day and followed the link to the hendricks blog and followed yet another link to Heather's "Her Hands" blog which seems to have all the material on it. I guess the point of this email, other than letting you know where I am right now as far as struggles (in a very long and drawn out way ;) )is to ask you if you would do the Her Hands with me, help me prepare myself- do my part- for whoever god has in store for my future. If we could get together one day a week at any time really- lunch/ afternoon/ evening/whenever to go over the weeks "lesson" and to learn from you what you have learned from experience, God, the Bible, etc. that has prepared you for marriage and for becoming the wife you are today- who is able to put God above your husband. I would really appreciate it. I'm sorry this is so long- its probably pretty jumbled too :)
In Christ
sarah
Gabby,
I want to start out by saying thank you. I tend to be a reserved person and it takes me time to really get comfortable around people but you have been so solid for me this past year. I'm writting to you now because I want to ask a favor of you. Since I've come to A&M there have been about three major things I have dealt with and found God's will for me in. First it was the decision of PA school which I can say now after years of prayer that without a shadow of a doubt that is where God wants me. The second is my future marriage. It took me until my best friend started dating a guy- leaving me with time to either pity myself of delve deeper into prayer over my future- to realize that God knows my heart for marriage and children and he will provide me who I need when I need it. The third is having a heart for missions and God has/and is constantly working on me with that- giving me, the quite one, the boldness I need to really talk to the ones I love- and even those I don't really know- about how amazing, loving, and forgiving my savior is. Recently though, I guess ever since the trip, I have had such a hard time getting a person out of my head- I started really praying about it this whole last week and it wasn't until tonight that I realized why. Partly because I had a whole bunch of caffine tonight but partly because of this bombardment that I feel like satan is attacking me with- I couldn't sleep (As you can probably tell by the email time its about 5am)so I started writting down exactly what I was dwelling on to try to get my thoughts organized, while I was doing this I kept looking up at the wall near my bed that I have some of my favorite scripture on. All of them that I was reading dealt with living a life for Christ and not for the world or for man. (2 Cor 5:15, 2 Tim 2:4 etc) and that really began to burden me about my future (husband/boyfriend/etc)- not the who, what, or where that I had dealt with in the past but the why and how. For the last two weeks I have been doing Jen's study on becoming citizens of heaven- living for God not for the world, and reading "Don't Waste your life" again about living for God and not for man. Well tonight it all kind of came together and I realized what was really bothering me was I didn't feel like I was prepared for a future relationship if God was to give one to me now. Last summer I read the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers and I saw yet again God's amazing agape love but what struck me the most was that I saw myself in the character at the end. I saw myself easily getting lost in a guy- putting all my hope, trust, and devotion in a man and not in God anymore. Well it is almost a year since I have realized it and I still haven't done anything about it. I was looking at Jen's blog the other day and followed the link to the hendricks blog and followed yet another link to Heather's "Her Hands" blog which seems to have all the material on it. I guess the point of this email, other than letting you know where I am right now as far as struggles (in a very long and drawn out way ;) )is to ask you if you would do the Her Hands with me, help me prepare myself- do my part- for whoever god has in store for my future. If we could get together one day a week at any time really- lunch/ afternoon/ evening/whenever to go over the weeks "lesson" and to learn from you what you have learned from experience, God, the Bible, etc. that has prepared you for marriage and for becoming the wife you are today- who is able to put God above your husband. I would really appreciate it. I'm sorry this is so long- its probably pretty jumbled too :)
In Christ
sarah
Sunday, March 23, 2008
"I want more..."
So I was watching the Little Mermaid today-I have a big test next week and I do everything including cleaning my house, washing the dog, running, cleaning out my fridge, watching movies etc. to put off studying. But my aversion to studying is a completely different topic! Anyway, while I was watching the Little Mermaid-one of my favorite movies when I was little- the lyrics to the song "Part of Your World" really hit me. Recently I have really been burdened for a friend of mine who I study with and so I guess that i've been thinking about why and how my salvation has changed me. The song starts out, "Look at this stuff Isn't it neat?Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl The girl who has everything? Look at this trove Treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold?Looking around here you think Sure, she's got everything I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty I've got whozits and whatzits galore You want thingamabobs?I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal I want more..." Things of this world will never satisfy us. It says in
1 John 2:15
"Do not love things of this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything in it."
Things don't satisfies- Crist Satisfies more than imaginable! I don't know how many times I have seen this movie but this is the first time I have ever seen it as an example of Christ's sacrifice. At the end of the movie Tritan gives himself up for his daughter's freedom- just like Christ gave himself so we can be freed from sin. I thought that was awsome-don't get me wrong there are still some things that bother me about this movie- like how they say that falling in love is only shown with a kiss?! But again that is for another time...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
My God is Mighty to Save!!
Edinburgh was amazing this year. While we might not have had as many patients this year as we had last year we were able to really talk to the people. Whether it was encouraging the fellow christians that came to see us or to witness to the unbelievers that game by. I think total we saw about 150 people and gave away about 40,000 dollars of meds but I felt like I learned so much from it- about myself, about others, about medicine and about my faith. I started out this trip knowing that my goal was to make much of Christ in everything that I said and did. But it is always easier to say something than to actually do it. The first day that we were there I was getting frustrated because it was 11 oclock and no one had shown up. I started thinking- the church here isn't doing what it said it would- all my work getting the meds ready is going to waste-this sucks! Then someone suggested that we pray about the patients God was going to send us. That jolted me outof my selfishness and made me realize that if I was going to make this trip about Gods glory I needed to trust that he would give us what we needed! It is such a simple concept but it is something that I realized on this trip that I struggle with everyday. I have seen time after time how God provides exactly what I need when I need it- even in more abundance than I could imagine! Yet I still let myself get frustrated when something isn't going how I want it to. There were so many other things that I learned on this trip but i've got a biochem exam that is staring me down. I just wanted to share a little bit about the trip before life gets hectic again :)
Friday, March 7, 2008
Edinburgh: round dos
We leave Sunday for Edinburgh again. This time I feel like I will be able to help more. Don't get me wrong last year was an amazing learning experience and I have been so blessed by so many things that started last year but I felt a little useless. I feel that one of my spiritual gifts is my desire to give of myself and my abilities to help other people and so i don't like just sitting around when others are working. But this year is different I am there to help and am able to and that excites me. God did some amazing stuff last year through all the people on the trip and I know he will continue to do amazing things. I just need to pray about my attitude. There are so many people that come in to see us that I need to watch my self and make sure that I do not get preoccupied with "getting all the patients through" that I forget the whole reason we are there. To help them physically and spiritually. This is a blatantly obvious time for me to share with the people we see how amazing and loving my Savior is and I don't want my attitude rush me out of time to share with them.
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